Fit people are weird.
Well at least I’m frequently told I am (but that’s not a bad thing, is it? It just seems like being very active has a few funny side effects.
Where’s my waterbottle?
I have to pee again…
I’ll race you!
How many push ups can you do?
Can I squat with you on my back?
I’m so sore I can’t walk
How much do you squat?
Before running: i don’t feel like running. During: this is so hard i’m doing why do i do this. After: BEST RUN EVER, I LOVE IT
WHERE’S THE PIZZA
I have the right to bear arms. *flexes*
Are you going to eat that?
Where is this kitchen that everyone says makes abs?
Can I feel your biceps?
I clean every week. You know clean and jerk!
(You better know what I’m talking about or this is very awkward).
Sometimes I’m hungry and other times I’m asleep
My abs are rock hard, punch me!
I wanna find the person who looks at me the way I look at evening snacks
Today I’m training biceps with five sets of curling … all this food into my mouth
(Before saying yes to going to anything) Will there be food? Can I wear gym clothes?
My hobbies include eating and also thinking about the next time I will be eating
I always carry a knife in my purse. You know in case of cake and stuff.
Now if reading this has made you angry, you’re thinking this is stupid and hyberbolic, I have some news for you:
You’re probably right. I meant for this to be hyperbolic. It’s called exaggeration for comedic purposes. Because I don’t want to take myself so serious that I can’t make fun of me.
Now reading that might have made you think that this “disclaimer” is stupid, how could that possibly be neccessary, it’s obviously all a (bad) joke! Well I like you. You clearly haven’t been to the bad corners of the internet, where trolls hide in the shadow. Please don’t ever go there, I like you as you are.
Which of these, if any, apply to you? What’s something you’d never say?
Since you made it to the end, you may as well follow me on Instagram – but their algorithm is a bit of a mystery, so you can sign up to the newsletter to not miss out on the best posts! ✨
