So. I’ve gained weight.
I don’t own a scale, yet I weighed myself when I was home over Easter. I didn’t think the number would affect me, but I didn’t think the situation through either.
I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been.
Granted I’ve grown up on the edge of being underweight until I started strength training as a teenager (I just realized I’m not a teenager anymore. What. Does this mean I’m too old to watch Disney movies alone?).
I went (am going) through a severe depression and a severe injury. That has meant getting out of bed was tough. Getting dressed was exhausting. Just the thought of doing anything was completely overwhelming, so yes I didn’t workout.
That was the best way I could take of my health at the time.
Now, my energy level is increasing. I slowly started going for longer and longer walks. A couple of weeks ago I started going to the gym regularly, because I want to – now.
I don’t regret taking a break – because exercising through my depression would be as is easy as it is for you to climb a Kilimanjaro right now. And I bet that’s not happening! Although it must be hard to understand if you haven’t been in the same situation, hence the misconception that people with depression are lazy.
I said the fact that I had gained weight wouldn’t bother me if I was still able to function normally, to work out. And I was right. Over the past month my self worth and body confidence has skyrocketed – and I doubt my weight have changed much. I haven’t had a close look at my body.
So is it time to lose weight for me?
Yes, but not because I’m trying.
It’s just very likely to happen now that I’m so much more active and have energy to cook real meals. I don’t to go all restrictive or on stupid detoxes – I want to rediscover my healthy happy balance!
I don’t care about how I look. I don’t care about how much I weigh.
I care about how I feel, how my body feels – and I feel best when I workout, ‘overweight’ or not.
Thank you for reading and following ♥