New Year’s resolutions kinda suck.
Back in December I wrote down this list with goals for the new year as a response to all the extremely-ambitious-unachievable New Year’s resolutions that you end up throwing in the thrash because they bring you no joy.
I never got around to sharing it.
- Tell that girl at the gym that I think she’s badass
- Eat at least 50 pieces of chocolate
- Set new personal records for ‘most consecutive days alive’
- Pet dogs. I’ve been told it’s good to put numbers on goals so they are easier to measure so the number I pick is ALL OF THEM!!!11!!1
- Let a baby hold my pinky finger in their tiny fist and try not to die from cuteness overload
- Do a marathon aka binge watch an entire series in a day on Netflix #fitness
- Make weird faces to other people’s children without the people noticing (yes I am a child)
- Learn a new fact about the Harry Potter books (They just keep coming)
- Be less angry at people who like pineapple on pizza (but seriously how dare you ruin the sacrality of the pizza). Deep breaths.
- Learn the meaning of the word sacrality and how to use it correctly
- Ask an English person what the politest way to tell people you hate both coffee AND tea is (I feel like English people should know this. Unless every single one of them really likes tea).
- Learn new knowledge. Not very picky about what. Knowledge is cool
- Jump in a big pile of leaves. Maybe just kick it a little if other people are watching. Or maybe just say fuck it and jump in anyway
- Stuff my face with pebernødder. Autocorrect changed that into faces. I wanna stuff all the faces with peppernuts.
- Laugh so hard I cry. Maybe even pee a bit.