I don’t hate myself, but I don’t think I’m perfect either
Far from perfect actually. But so is everyone else, no matter how shiny and amazing they seem from afar. I’m writing this post, not as an act of self-loathing, but self-love, actually.
How can listing your worst sides be an act of self-love?
Because embracing your self, just as your are – bad sides included – makes it easier to be you. I can acknowledge that I’m not perfect, that I have areas that needs some work. There are ways that I can improve – but it’s okay to develop in your own pace, it’s okay to just be you.
- I lose myself around other people. I often act and talk based on what other people want and expect from me.
- My inner critic is very loud. And I listen too much to her, rather than just let her babble on in the corner as she has nothing helpful or noteworthy to say.
- I can be very shy. I get so awkward around people I don’t know well, and I doubt I’ll ever master the art of small talking.
- I shy away from conflict. Whenever a conflict is in the air, I usually take on the extra burden instead of saying no and taking the discussion.
- I get trapped in thought spirals. Usually about my chronic pain, and how my life is going to be if it doesn’t get better. Those thoughts make the pain so much more unbearable, but it’s difficult for me to snap out of these thoughts without help.
- I’m too dependent on external validation. My worth has been so tied up in grades, it’s terrible. It’s an area I’m working on, but compliments still matter a little too much to me.
- I’m the slowest replier. I am terrible at replying to messages. On one hand, I don’t want to be disturbed at any time of day and have many notifications turned off on my phone, as well as
frequentlyuse the ‘Do not disturb’-function… But other times, it’s because I overthink replies and tell myself “I’ll reply tomorrow when I’m fresh and clearheaded to give them a proper reply”… and then I forget. Or still aren’t fresh.
- I’m struggling to cope with chronic pain. Both the pain and the fatigue that comes with it. It’s partly because it’s boring not being able to go out and be active like I used to, partly because it’s frustrating and it’s difficult for me to accept how unproductive I’ve become.
- I’m doing
a anti-versionof this listing my best sides, and I’m struggling to come up with bulletpoints. There’s something positive to be said about being humble, but this is just self-destructive.
But more than anything, I’m learning that it’s okay not to be good at anything. I’m never going to be loud, entertaining, care-free extrovert, but that’s okay. I have other things to offer. There are many different kinds of people, and all of us are wonderful in our own way.
What’s your worst sides that you want to embrace?
This post was inspired by Caroline Thorsfelt (Danish blogger)