Happy birthday me!
Yes, today I’m turning freaking 23.
It’s not really old, but it’s a very adult age and that is terrifying.
Anyway, list like this seem to be the way bloggers mark their birthday, and with this, maybe I finally get to hang out with the cool kids adults.
So here’s a list of 23 thoughts on getting older and what I’ve learned in my time on earth. That makes me sound like an alien. I swear I’m not an alien.
- I’m spending my birthday walking on a bridge with my family and boyfriend. Apparently it’s very exciting. And we get to keep the suit-thing.
- It’s a year minus a few days since I got mono, which started an avalanche of terrible things. 22 definitely wasn’t my year.
- It’s 2 years since my knee surgery, and my knee still bothers me daily. I find this very upsetting.
- I’m not celebrating my birthday with friends. Illness has made me push friends away, and this will be a year of amends.
- I’m excited to see what books I get for my birthday. My siblings and I read a lot, and often give each other books as birthday presents. I love that.
- Speaking of presents, my boyfriend left his gift at my place. Unpacked. And it’s taken every ounce of willpower from me not to peek.
- Most days I can’t remember how old I am. Like people think I’m lying or something, but it’s because I have to remember what year it is, do the math, then remember if it’s been my birthday already.
- The most upsetting thing about becoming an adult is realising all those people you looked up to for knowing everything and having their life together secretly have no idea what they’re doing.
- On that note I am forever grateful for my Wonder Woman mom who helps with everything and I don’t know how she can manage it all??
- I’m not afraid of growing old (sorry not sorry society), but it does upset me to see my sister grow old. Because she’s my baby. And babies don’t drink alcohol??? Babies can’t walk around on their own in a big city?? Babies can’t get drivers licenses??? What are you doing baby????
- Also how do you really know you’re an adult? I only recently started flossing regularly which seems like a very adult thing, but on the other hand I only went to the dentist because my mom got an appointment for me.
- I don’t have a strong vision of where I want to be or a big goal I want to achieve this year. Because you never know what life’s gonna bring you. Maybe it’s mononucleosis that sets you a year back at uni. Or maybe you win the lottery and become friends with Beyoncé (the latter being more likely, as I never buy lottery tickets)
- At the top of my wish list is: a puppy. If it wasn’t for the fact that I live in place where pets aren’t allowed, and I can hardly afford to sustain myself. So… maybe next year?
- A walk outside is so good for my mood. I’m glad I’ve made it an (almost) daily habit.
- I feel like by 23 you should have learned to drink coffee. Except I don’t even like coffee in cake. Yes, in cake. That’s how you know it’s bad.
- College/university is not as fun as people say it is.
- Something I’ve learned in my 23 years (get ready for some wise words) is that balance is key in all aspects of life.
- Another thing I’ve learned is that no other person can ever fix you. But it’s nice to have someone who will hold your hand while you save yourself.
- I used to carry a lot of internalized misogyny as a child growing up (you know the ‘I’m not like the other girls’, never wears pink-tomboy). I’m grateful for the internet teaching me about feminism and not hating myself.
- I had my last therapy session for hopefully forever yesterday. I don’t know how to feel about that.
- But maybe, just maybe it means the rest of my life will be challenging yet free from crippling mental health challenges.
- Typing all this out I’m realising 23 is a big number. I’m so old.
- I hope 23 will be a year of growth, mindfulness and (self) compassion
You might also want to read: 2016 birthday post.