When I look at the girl on the left, I struggle to recognize her.
That is Anne, BC (before chronic pain).
She was a sports science student, she loved football, she regularly went to the gym to lift weights and sometimes went for a run – and she loved it.
If you go to the workout category of this blog, you can meet her. I, Anne AC (after chronic pain), have not been there for a while.
Chronic pain has slowly but surely turned my life upside down. I don’t want to let it change who I am, but how’s that possible when it touches everything I do.
It absolutely sucks, there’s no other way to describe it.
I don’t know how to convey to people who are not in chronic pain, how it feels (most only know the non-chronic kind, and it doesn’t compare).
It affects every single aspect of my life. So many little things you don’t even think about becomes an extreme challenge for me.
I can’t just go for a walk, carry a bag or lie down without carefully positioning pillows. I used to be a morning person, but the pain and stiffness is often worst in the morning. I have to carefully manage my energy, and add time to recover after any event.
Denmark might have an excellent health care system compared to other countries, but I have yet to experience any help from anyone. So I’m trying my best to cope on my own, but it’s damn hard when there’s so many things I have no control over.
I don’t want my pain to define me, but the sad reality is that it’s defining my life and my future opportunities.
I don’t write about this because I want your pity. I write about my life, and pain has (unfortunately) become a defining feature of my life.