As you start getting into fitness, you’ll slowly notice it comes with a weird set of habits and expressions.
… Or maybe it’s just me that’s weird?
I don’t have to pee
Why would I eat CARBS?
I stay away from the weights room, I don’t want to get bulky
I’ll just skip dessert
I hate walking around in activewear all day, so embarrasing
Thank you for spotting me without asking for permission creepy dude
I should just stick to one serving of peanut butter
Yes good sir, now that you’ve pointed out how my muscles make me look like a man I’ll totally stop working out because the purpose of my existence is to be attractive to you.
I hate all-you-can-eat restaurants, there’s just too much food
I hate sore muscles
No thank you, I’m not hungry
I love wearing jeans, it’s easy to find a pair that fits both my butt, thighs and calves at the same time
I’ll just go easy on the protein
I hate sweating
Why on earth would I buy another pair of leggings?
It may be Christmas, but I don’t need to eat that much
Nah, I’ll just have a simple bowl of oats without a gazillion different fruits and berrites
Everyone on the internet doesn’t need to know I worked out today
I love burpees
Now if reading this has made you angry, you’re thinking this is stupid and hyberbolic, I have some news for you:
You’re probably right. I obviously meant for this to be hyperbolic. It’s called exaggeration for comedic purposes. Because I don’t want to take myself so serious that I can’t make fun of me.
Which of these, if any, apply to you? What’s something you’d never say?