The reason I want to talk about this important topic today, is that a few weeks ago I received and e-mail with the subject that said (directly translated from Danish)
“We women can get happy by losing weight”
I immediately wanted to throw it into the bin. Luckily, I did a double take – my brain was made of 90% snot that day, and clearly it was affecting my eyes. At first, I hadn’t even noticed the email was in Danish.
What it had actually said was
“Can us women get happy by losing weight?”
To which the answer, of course, is a screaming NO!
And as I read the email, I realised this was an invitation to talk about just that with the lovely Kirk Rønler (she’s Danish so don’t feel bad if when you can’t pronounce her name).
She was coming to Odense to do a talk about her experience with an eating disorder, lack of self-worth, and finally making peace with her body.
Like most people (sadly, I should add), I’ve struggled with my body too. Especially when I first got injured, that fuelled a lot of negative thoughts about my body and myself, and the way my chronic neck pain is keeping me from moving my body – and in a way, have good experiences with my body, like the endorphin rush from a good workout, isn’t making it better.
And so I went, dressed up in the sexiest outfit I could find.
Right from the start, I realised how funny Kirk is. Which can make it easier to talk about (and listen to) when we get to the serious subjects.
Kirk is amazing for having the courage to share that raw honesty of the dark places she went with her eating disorder. And it got really dark at times. The endless diets she went on, the way she punished her body with ridiculous amounts of exercise.
She’s a perfect example of how looking good does not equal feeling good. Because at one point she was at that stage where traditional beauty standards would call her perfect. She just didn’t see that. And if anything, that just goes to show how happiness can never be found through a numerical value on the scale.
It’s not like this is a subject I’m completely new to, I too am interested in self-love and rejecting diet-culture. But Kirk talk still touched on so many fascinating subjects that stuck with me afterwards. Like the way shame control us, and how it makes us feel alone though we hardly ever are.
The difference between “doing” and “being” and how it can negatively affect you when they get out of balance.
I think, because the talk was live and in person, it hit me in a totally different way from a blog post or a YouTube video, and that’s why I’m so glad I got the chance to experience this.
Now, Kirk is doing this from a personal, not professional perspective, all based on her own experience. So while this talk clearly can’t replace therapy, it can be a start. A way to learn you’re not alone. A way to learn that recovery is possible.
And maybe if you bring a plus one, it could be a way for them to learn what you’re going through, to understand it better, and to start a difficult conversation.
If you want to learn more about Kirk’s talks (and live in Denmark, otherwise it’s quite far to travel), you can go here.
I love to see amazing people standing up to disordered diets and promoting self-love instead!
* I received the ticket to the talk as a gift. All opinions are, as always, my own honest ones.